The Soul Alchemist & an Updated YOU
Just like a computer system sometimes needs maintenance and a reset so to speak, so do we. Sometimes, we also need to shut down, to download a newer version of ourselves and restart on a clean page. Sometimes it is a good thing that all the previous data have been lost – it means that you have to start on a clean slate with a new updated perspective so to speak.
Come to think of it, in my experience it is at those times when we feel “stuck” or in a rut of sorts it is a symptom of a bigger transformation that is underway behind the scenes? From times when I have felt “stuck” and unsure of the next step, I have learnt to accept that sometimes it is ok to feel stuck and that it’s often a symptom and a herald of some change. For the caterpillar to transform and become a butterfly, it needs to spend time in the crucible of change where it feels painfully stuck. The more I think about it the more it makes sense.
A transformative process always seems to need some form of containment. A chrysalis facilitates and protects this miraculous process of transformation. The same is true for an egg and a womb. Transformation requires confinement and containment where the totality of the system surrenders to the process without interference.
So when something appears to be inescapable – that is the moment when the process of change begins. In emotional terms, over the last few months, my caterpillar soul looked in the mirror and saw what it could no longer be. But to melt and shed the previous form it needed to produce huge intensity, energy and internal heat. The chrysalis is a mirror of change and I had to be inside the experience for as long as was necessary. To use it, to listen in and discover a newer updated version of me.
I love my coffee… But I don’t get to see the hands that harvested the beans, packed them, shipped them to Australia and often not even when the barista is making the brew. The invisible work is the essence of change and transformation. The old me was shedding its form – that was the outward visible part but the invisible part was the new version of me that was being formed in silence. I have had to clear the deck and scrub everything down, discard what was not worthwhile any longer – to forgive, to heal and to make peace. It’s a dimensional shift that is required. Like the software that was outdated and no longer functional, feeling stuck is an entry point for a dimensional shift.
Astronomers have also had to rethink their views somewhat – it is only recently that we have been able to see into a black hole instead of just seeing space. The black hole of a crisis is the moment just before the breakthrough – but the brilliance that awaits you on the other side is only accessible if you embrace your chrysalis moment and the crucible of change. If you can do that, you will find the dimensional shift and see how the black hole in your universe curves into new possibilities. But finding new possibilities requires uncertainty, intense volatility and transformation. It means getting up and reconnecting to the line of your life and endeavours – joining it to where is has moved to now – not where you left it. It requires some robustness and capacity for spontaneous recovery.
I also realised that we lose our sense of reverence too quickly. Just think about relationships – how a new relationship can inspire you and make your spirits soar… Have I lost my capacity for reverence? Can I embrace life with a spirit of excitement for the unknown? Perhaps failures are directly related to a loss of reverence. Life demands reinvention, chutzpah, resilience and heaps of optimism.
There is so much darkness in the world. Just look up at night – the majority of the night canvas is darkness with pinpricks of light. There is light and there is hidden light – what scientists call dark matter. Like the stars, we are engulfed by darkness – a void that has not been illuminated. The more I think about life and my place in it – it seems that our task here is to claim the dark void, to fill it and release the hidden light. When you meet a stranger – the space between you is pretty much a void. Once you have started conversation – you will share your worlds – and find common ground. In this process you are creating streaks of light between you.
The conversation and interaction transports you to a different place and time and you find yourself on the edge of discoveries, creating new possibilities. It is inside the void and in the interaction, that hidden light is released from its concealment and you co-create your universe together. That is why I believe giving your presence to someone is the greatest thing you can give. Offering your full attention and offering your vulnerability is the greatest form of generosity. Giving your mindful presence is the greatest gift you can give to anyone. This is what lifts the conversation from the mundane to the sacred.
My mind has been buzzing today and I guess I tend to kaleidoscope too much. I try to see patterns and synchrony in life and between seemingly unrelated things. In the process I try to apply concepts and principles cross field – not always successfully I might add. I do this to try to discover new meanings in new connections and combinations and to learn to anticipate what is newly emerging. It’s my version of connecting the dots to find constellations where some will only see random stars. For me life is about finding meaning, not a search for happiness which the world seems to think is symmetrical.
Symmetry is a distortion invented by Newton. There is similarity and likeness but not symmetry. The Newtonian obsession with symmetry expects action and reaction to be symmetrically opposite and equal. There is no symmetry in relationships or anything connected with human beings. Reciprocity is certainly not symmetrical. How can it when we are all so unique? Why do we always insist on expecting symmetry? It’s the difference between equity and equitability. Equal by definition is not equitable. Karl Marx didn’t get this. Nothing in this world is equal. This is a very much differentiated universe. Everything is unique. I wish the world would understand if anything is meant to be equal it should be equal to itself. I am unique because I bring a unique presence to the world – the same applies to you.
Reciprocity means that each is working to help the other meet his/her needs. Need are by nature, seldom symmetrical and therefore neither is their fulfilment. Giving yourself or your love should be because you feel compelled to, because it gives meaning to you and a sense of purpose. It is not a conditional commitment of symmetrical returns.
I took an emotional sabbatical the last few months – a retreat from the world and relationships to find that containment to grow. I think we are all engaged in an alchemical process. Alchemy was not about turning lead into gold as some would believe. I read recently that it was about transforming base matter by liberating the inherent essence or the meaning in it. Transmutation implied looking within – looking at what the substance is to discover what its meaning and nature are. The true alchemist in the middle ages was after discovering the valuable essence of whatever base substance he was working with. In life, I believe, we have to be Soul Alchemists – to explore the depths of our souls and to discover our uniqueness - our soul's gold – that which defines you and sets you apart from others. That is the penultimate vocation in life - to take time out when you're battered and bruised to find that special magic in yourself and transform what you thought to be pure lead into solid gold. Sometimes, you only see lead in yourself because that is what you have been conditioned to believe, or perhaps the possibility of having some "gold" inside of you seems too far fetched and unrealistic?
This brings to mind the passage in Coelho’s The Alchemist:
“This is why alchemy exists,” the boy said. “So that everyone will search for his treasure, find it, and then want to be better than he was in his former life. Lead will play a role until the world has no more use for lead; and then lead will have to turn itself into gold. That’s what alchemists do. They show that, when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
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| The updated version - A happier me :0) |
You are exactly where you are supposed to be. It is up to you to transform yourself - no-one else can do it for you. You have to do the work. You have to have the meltdown before you can break the chrysalis and turn your lead into gold. Claim the void. Shine your light, be reverent. Shut down. Turn it off. Download the latent updated you. Give yourself permission to be new and embrace the innocence of hope. The only “perfect” is what IS. “Should” is a chimera of the mind. Life is too short for shoulds. Truth can hurt but it can also liberate the butterfly from the chrysalis. Enjoy the mandate of being alive and having the power of choice. Thank God for the power of renewal.
Message to inner self…. Download complete and Update installed. Live it dammit!
